In Retrospection.

I know this is latest year-ender post you’ll ever come across but I don’t care, it’s my life anyway.

2011 has been a year of self-discovery for me.  This year was one hell of an emotional and physical rollercoaster that I won’t ever forget.  This year taught me a lot of things.  This year taught me to love myself more.

Never in my whole life did I imagine myself to live alone at the onset of my so-called career.  But the MRT happened and commuting is “more fun in the Philippines” that’s why the elders decided to try and make me live on my own.  Well, I didn’t really experience anything drastic because I wanted this.  Though there are times that I’d feel ultimately alone since I really have no one to talk to, I discovered my inner self and learned to fend for myself.

Before, you won’t see me walking alone in a mall because I hated the feeling of being alone in crowded room (yes gumaganon).  I wouldn’t even dare stay at a coffee shop alone because I don’t like how it feels.  But thanks to this new found independence, I was able to overcome this hatred and learned to enjoy myself all alone.  Right now, I’m proud to say that I can dine, watch a movie, stay in a coffee shop and do stuff all on my own.  Though company is most welcome, I don’t mind doing stuff all by myself.

When I was single, I vowed that I would never get into a long distance relationship but fate can really get you.  This year, I got into a relationship with the sweetest, most thoughtful, Japanese boy you’ll ever meet.  Though we haven’t really maximized our time together since he’s been going back and forth to Japan, we’ve been getting a long quite well.  I can’t actually wait for the time that he’s finally going to stay in the Philippines for long.

This year, I’ve also travelled on my own without parental supervision because hello, I’m as old as I can get to be supervised.  3 months in my work, I was sent to Legazpi with two other co-leagues for a project.  This trip allowed me to enjoy my work, bond with my officemates and make new friends out of them.  Aside from that, I also went to Davao with Buenie to enjoy the alcohol land of Mindanao.  Though our stay was kind of bitin, I can’t wait to go back.

It also was a difficult year as we lost another loved one.  I do not want to elaborate too much on the tragic event but one thing’s for sure, Ninang Egay will forever remain in our hearts.

It’s been a very fruitful year – new learning, new mistakes, new experiences, new friends and new outlook in life.  It’s also been an emotional years – a lot of ups and downs, joy and sorrow.  Nonetheless, it’s been a year wherein I got to know myself more.  This year, like any other year, I am still not scared of committing mistakes.  I still believe that the best lessons in life are the ones you learn the hard way.  I will make 2012 count and I am really going to own this year.

Cheers everyone, have a great year ahead!

Capricorn, the tenth sign of the zodiac, is all about hard work. Those born under this sign are more than happy to put in a full day at the office, realizing that it will likely take a lot of those days to get to the top. That’s no problem, since Capricorns are both ambitious and determined: they will get there. Life is one big project for these folks, and they adapt to this by adopting a businesslike approach to most everything they do. Capricorns are practical as well, taking things one step at a time and being as realistic and pragmatic as possible. The Capricorn-born are extremely dedicated to their goals, almost to the point of stubbornness. Those victories sure smell sweet, though, and that thought alone will keep Capricorns going.

Capricorns are industrious, efficient, organized and won’t make a lot of waves. They are scrupulous with details and adopt a rather conventional posture in business and in life. These folks feel best playing it safe, since this is a fail-safe way to get to the top — eventually.

The great strengths of the Capricorn-born are their willingness to work hard and their determination to succeed. Their ambition is boundless, yet they are cautious, responsible and always play fair. That’s why their successes are all the more sweet. - www.astrology.com/capricorn-sun-sign-zodiac-signs/2-d-d-66920

I really don’t believe in star signs and horoscope. I just read them for the sake of actually reading it. Well, based on what I’ve quoted above, I am fit to be a capricorn because, yes, I possess the attributes the article describes.

But some stuff really don’t fit me well and I don’t think that should be a problem.  In previous posts, I often describe myself as a lost soul.  As someone who has not found passion in life, just yet.  Maybe I’m in the correct star sign but it’s still my choice right, to make my mark in the world. 

As Christmas lights start to light up the busy streets of Ortigas and the weather being a bit cooler than the usual, I’ve been finding comfort in walking from the office to the condo.  Though I normally do it, lately, it seems to be such a therapy from me (aside from retail therapy that does more damages than good).  Usually, I do brisk walking as a form of warm-up before hitting the gym.  But the past few days, I’ve been walking slowly, pondering and feeling the Christmas breeze.  It may seem so emo or dramatic but breathing semi-polluted air is refreshing after a long day at work.

I’ve realized that ever since I started to (technically) live alone and be in a long distance relationship, I’ve learned to be more independent ever than before.  Being alone can be tough and really lonely at times but the peace and quiet also lets me sit (or lie down), relax and take a breather from all the hustle and bustle of work, problems and generally, whatever that bothers me.  Before, I would hesitate to walk alone in a mall or wherever because walking alone is just too sad for me.  I also wouldn’t sit and wait for someone in a coffee shop and read a book or just do nothing.  I wouldn’t eat alone because that’s not a nice sight to see.  Lastly, I wouldn’t dare watch a movie by myself because I thought that was depressing.  All of that changed when I adjusted to this so-called “lifestyle”.  Slowly, I appreciate myself more for not relying to anyone for happiness.  Now, I could do stuff on my own without badgering or asking anyone to accompany me because being alone makes me crazy.

It is definitely lonely at times and there are moments that I’d just cry out of depression.  After being frustrated and everything that comes in between, I laugh at myself for being pathetic because I’m lucky to be like this.  Though there are stuff that I wish I had an adventure partner, it’s still no reason not to do anything.  I’m lucky to be not so dependent on how to go about life.  I’m lucky because I get to do stuff on my own. 

So there, walking has definitely done a lot to me.  Not only did it give me my daily exercise, it also serves as my time to think.  In addition, it has helped me save money as I refuse to ride the FX because traffic can really get terrible in Ortigas Center especially during this season.